Completely and Utterly Alone
by EloiseLawrence18
Summary: It's weird really, I have forever, literally, to do whatever I want and to be whoever I want to be but at this moment in time, I feel completely and utterly alone. But now my future awaits me and I am so desperately excited to see those beautiful eyes and hear that magical accent calling my name. Wish me luck, Caroline Forbes. *A short one shot about Caroline*


_Here's a short little one-shot that popped into my head on what it really was like to be Caroline at times._

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It's weird really, I have forever, literally, to do whatever I want and to be whoever I want to be but at this moment in time, I feel completely and utterly alone. I have always been there for my friends and have stayed loyal to them through everything that happened, but I don't feel like that ever gets returned. Ever since I became a vampire, no one has ever really asked me if I'm okay.

We all know the story, Katherine killed me. But no one understands how scary it is to wake up with a dying thirst for blood. When I knew nothing about vampires, I didn't know why or what was happening to me. I could smell it, I could feel it in their veins and I could taste it at the back of my throat. Always; 24/7 that dying hunger is there but after two kills, I managed to control it; something which no one has ever noticed or given me credit for.

Yes, I was controlling when I was a human and I know that's only heightened when you become a vampire. But blood is like a drug for us, something that we need and want all of the time. Something you can't live without. You _need_ it to survive. Controlling that urge whilst dealing with everything else takes a hell of a lot more will power and determination than people give credit for.

It was scary, waking up with fangs pushing through my gums, being unable to stand in the sun. I had no idea what had happened to me; suddenly I could hear people from other rooms, I could sense people coming up to me, I knew when people were in trouble.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I went through it all alone and I've controlled it for years now and people still don't seem to notice me. It's funny really, during trauma and crazy life events, it will always be Elena and no, I don't mean to sound like the jealous friend, but it's true; it really will always be Elena. I love her I do, but I just can't deal with her anymore.

People move on, things change and friendships grow apart, but that isn't something that you ever think will happen to you and your own group of friends; especially after all of the things that we've been through together. But it's been a few months now since everything that happened with the travellers and it just doesn't seem right anymore.

Elena and Stefan have been inseparable since Damon left; it seemed he wasted no time in going back to Elena, despite the fact I stood at his side through everything and I was the one who was most effected by his death; it angered me that he felt I could be dropped just like that. That I just didn't matter.

Tyler was gone, we all knew that and Jeremy just disappeared off the radar after Bonnie left. Matt was human, he didn't have all the time in the world so he got another job, away from Mystic Falls and worked to his heart's content to save money to travel across the world. He wanted to move on from everything that he knew of supernatural beings.

Then there was me, little old me and that brings me to my original point; I feel completely and utterly alone. I'm sitting in my room at the moment, my mum isn't here either and the house is completely silent. I wonder to myself what business I have actually staying in Mystic Falls. Should I leave? Will I regret leaving the small town; the only place I've ever known? I don't know, but there's one place that I really want to travel too. One place that that one voicemail made sounds amazing and magical and full of adventures. He was right you know, the small time life wouldn't be enough for me and it only took me until now to realise it. I hope he still wants to show me the world, because that's what I'm counting on. I'm leaving this little town and remembering it only as a memory. A fond one yes, but a memory. It's time to move on and send my love to my past. Because now, my future awaits me and I am so desperately excited to see those beautiful eyes and hear that magical accent calling my name.

Wish me luck,

Caroline Forbes.

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_Thank you for reading!_


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